Joy, Stress, and a little in between - The Bachelorette (ep. 5)

As we are at episode 5, we are probably pretty close to the halfway point! This season is flying by and you won’t want to miss it. Let’s dive into the latest episode.

As I predicted, Matt was sent home quickly. In fact, it was only a few short minutes into the episode. Shoutout to the Bachelorette producers for making something seem pivotal/dramatic and then it pans out to not being as big of a deal. They’ve never done that before! That was sarcasm. They always reel me with these dramatics and I never seem to learn. 

On a real note, I again feel bad for the guy. He flew on his own money, across the globe because he wasn’t ready to give up on his chance at love. While it might have been abrupt or not planned for accordingly, you have to give him props for giving it a try. In every conversation with Jenn or Jesse, you could tell he was clearly nervous. Seeming quietly spoken or trying to find the right words. It seems as if they both care for each other. Yet, Jenn cares for him as a friend, not romantically. Which arguably, is more crushing for Matt. 

In regards to the other gentlemen, I do think they have a right to be confused and even frustrated. They’ve sacrificed a good bit to be where they are and most of them opened up their hearts to Jenn by this point. Most of the guys are bought in on Jenn being their person. For someone to come in, who has an unfair advantage, and steal this chance from them would be a complete waste of their time/energy. 

Grant deserves a lot of credit too for dealing with a distraught Devin. Everyone deserves a friend like him. He easily could have been frustrated too. Yet, he stayed calm and instead chose to encourage others.

If anything out of this situation, I wish the guys were a little bit more respectful and polite when Matt addressed them. I wish I could tell them to “be the bigger man”. Matt even apologized to them and said he didn’t mean to cause any drama. While it was an irritating situation, maybe see yourself in his shoes as someone just trying to chase after love. Maybe I already felt bad for Matt enough and that was another gut punch right there. 

At this point in the episode, I forgot that they still hadn’t done a rose ceremony haha. The change of pace tripped me up a little bit. Thomas N going doesn’t mean a thing to me. To be honest, I didn’t mind it at all. His whole storyline on this show was that he was Sam M’s evil sidekick or that he had a “bone to pick” with everything. He was more focused on everything else rather than his relationship with Jenn. Maybe Jenn and he had more of a relationship than what was shown. However, based on what was shown, he talked about the other guys/the issues among them 5x more than his actual relationship with her. 

As for John, I think it’s fair to put him in the category of contestants who we didn’t get a fair amount of screen time with. I felt like I just didn’t know him a lot. His interactions with Jenn were minimally shown too in comparison to other guys. With that in mind, I didn’t feel they had a strong spark or connection. 

I am starting to like the conversations with Jesse Palmer (and Jenn) more and more. It feels almost as if it’s a parent talking with their kid. Where they get to ask truly intentional questions and try to understand the situation more. In these conversations, it seems as if they talk where cameras aren’t watching them. It’s a breath of fresh air almost.

One thing Jenn said was, “With each week, I get a better sense of what I do want.” While that’s great, I want her to explain that more! She’s expressed wanting a vulnerable love, ferocious love, a comforting love, etc. There are physically developed and emotionally developed relationships. The more I watch, the more I get confused about what she is actually looking for. 

Moving on to the one-on-one date with Jonathan… Come on guys, are we losing date ideas already? Marcus' date was skydiving, Spencer’s involved a helicopter, Sam M’s had jumping off a skyscraper and now Jonathan’s incorporates a helicopter. Too many of them involve heights. Switch it up, Bachelorette! The only difference here was Jonathan was the nervous one regarding heights. It was kind of cool to see Jenn be able to comfort and encourage him. Now that Jenn has gotten used to all these heights, she can be a calming presence for him.

Jonathan and Jenn are cute. When they both portray it as a Rom-Com type of love, you can see that. Their goofiness and fun with each other seem authentic. It doesn’t seem overbearing or fake for the cameras. They let down their guard in a way that you can’t find with every person and it’s pleasant to watch :)

On the other hand, I am glad they both recognize a need to formulate an emotional connection too. Which is important to any type of dating relationship. However, I don’t think they need to rush it! Let it come naturally. Just like any Rom-Com, they have their deeper/emotional parts to them too. It isn’t always happy, go lucky.

In saying that, the conversations during their dinner date didn’t seem forced. I think they proved that they can have those types of conversations with each other. This isn’t something that needs to be perfect! Opening up to someone and being vulnerable will be a work in progress for a long time and that is plenty ok! I like these two together. 

One thing that was forced was the “rain” during their kiss. That was so fake haha, even if it did fit in with the Rom-Com feel.

The M.V.P. of this episode were the hopping sheep. It was so fun to watch them during the group date because it was just chaos and all over the place. I wouldn’t want any of the guys to get hurt, but it would have been funny to see one of the jumping sheep absolutely lay out one of the guys.

I’ve spent enough time defending Devin, I won’t this time. He did not deserve to win the reward of extra time with Jenn during this group date. Especially considering he did little of the farmwork compared to the others. He moreso slacked off and spent time with Jenn. It was nice that the guys didn’t make it a big deal as they have in the past. Either they’re sick of Devin’s antics or they’re maturing in a way.

Continuing on, I do understand where Austin is coming from and had a feeling that he was going to leave. It feels like he has been trying to catch up from the start. I was relieved to see him leave with his head held high. He didn’t want to waste anyone’s time by staying there, so he took himself out of it. Honestly, good for him. He didn’t try to force the relationship and didn’t want to lead her on/be led on by her. I think it shows that you truly were there for the right reasons. He’s a respectable young man and I think many women will be on his doorstep after this show. Maybe a possible Bachelor in Paradise candidate?

I sort of understand Jenn’s reaction of anxiety and fear when it came to her leaving. The feelings of maybe she isn’t doing good enough. What I will say is, that Jenn didn’t necessarily give the energy to Austin as she did with others. So it is fair for him to feel the way he did. Then, on the other hand, I think Jenn is doing as well as she can. This is such a non-traditional way of finding love and getting to know someone. You only have so much time and deciding how to use it is tough. 

If I had to give a second M.V.P. For this episode, it would be the producer who called her out to be vulnerable with the guys. I truly think that’s what sparked her to talk about her anxieties/worries/fears in front of all of the guys. At one point she said something along the lines of how it’s easier to like someone when they’re confident and how it’s easier to shy away from those sharing scary parts of themselves. That’s such a scary, but very real anxiety. 

To be completely transparent, I have felt these very same anxieties and I would argue that countless others have to. There are still moments today where I struggle with it. I put so much pressure on myself to do things well. Whether that’s school, work, sports, relationships, etc. So, when things went wrong like they inevitably do, anxieties steamrolled in. I’m sharing this to say basically that you aren’t alone in your struggles. It’s so much more common than you think.

In fact, it was nice to see how most of the guys comforted her in her worries. Even sharing their past about how they have dealt with similar struggles. All the guys showed up and accepted her for who she was. It’s just another prime example of how opening up about your mental health is beneficial! Being able to share about these things is powerful and I would argue that it pushes people closer together. For Jenn and the guys, this was a helpful conversation.

During the one-on-one date with Grant, I couldn’t help but think that Jenn looked like a female version of Indiana Jones. I don’t mean to harp on the producers again in this blog… but horseback riding is another one that is recycled and reused constantly. We should start sending them ideas. How about a cooking class or something casual like that?

Jenn also brought back the descriptor…  “Hot”. We hadn’t heard that one in a good bit.

There wasn’t too much that stood out to me on this date. Here are some quick thoughts: 

1. I like how Grant checked in on Jenn about what went down the night prior (Austin leaving and her being vulnerable). Especially considering he wasn’t there with them. 

2. Grant feeling all the pressure and nervousness shows he cares. He isn’t just the cool, smooth guy all the time. 

3. Grant is someone who will accept you for who you are! He mentioned it multiple times on their date. He does not expect perfection. I love that attitude. 

4. Glad they got the time to finally share their pasts.

5. While it might just have seemed like every other one-on-one date on the Bachelorette, they are definitely digging each other.  

When it came time for the Cocktail hour/rose ceremony, Grant announced to the group that he was falling in love with Jenn is interesting. He’s probably excited and wants to share about his date! It just puts others on edge and probably wouldn’t be the way I would say it. 

Dylan brought up a valid point too. He said, “It all comes back down to who has time with Jenn.” That seems to correlate with who feels confident and who Jenn sends packing. Hence why I think Dylan was sent home. No cocktail hour didn’t help him either. Out of the group, he was the one who probably had the least. He had some fun moments, so it was sad to see him go.  That's the name of the game though!

My top 3 guys are still Marcus, Spencer, and Jonathan. Grant remains an honorable mention. Though Jeremy is slowly climbing up my rankings too. Curious to see how he does next week, talk to you then!