What a rollercoaster that was - The Bachelorette (Ep. 4)

Welcome back to the craziness that is the Bachelorette. That episode left us saying “Aww, how cute” and then also saying “What in the world”. We got it all in this episode!

Week by week, Sam M becomes more worrisome for us viewers. If you look anywhere on Twitter/X right now, you’ll see him labeled as a large red flag and they aren’t wrong to do so. We were able to see that in full display during the one-on-one date. 

I think that Sam M loses his smoothness in each episode too. In conversations, he mumbles or looks like he might be struggling to hold/initiate them. He constantly is laughing or scoffing at other people. Even his one-liners don’t seem to land as much anymore. For example when he said, “I don’t count this as our first date.” Then Jenn responded with, “What was our first date, the couch?” Yikes buddy.

Then If I were to decide myself that my wife and I were jumping off a skyscraper without even acknowledging what she thought about it… I would be sleeping on the couch for a week. I don’t get him feeling like he has the power to make decisions for her. It just seemed like a very insensitive thing to do. I get he just wants to generate a fun memory with Jenn. However, there is a difference between being spontaneous and rude. He was completely insensitive to her feelings/emotions towards it and was persistent/pushy about doing it. Not taking no for an answer. 

However, I do kind of think the producers get somewhat of the blame for this scenario too. In this episode, All things pointed towards them jumping off the building. Whether it was the dinner table overlooking the people jumping off or the waiter bringing it up. I felt like there was no way they wouldn’t give it a try after setting up that scenario.

Once they eventually got harnessed on top of the building, Sam M would not stop laughing at her. Meanwhile, Jenn wishes she was anywhere but there and starts to cry. At that moment, his priority wasn’t Jenn. Instead, It was to grab an adrenaline rush and do something cool. Which then came off as selfish. It took Jenn crying/freaking out for Sam M to let her know that she didn’t have to do it.  

One of my friends noted that even the guide on top of the skyscraper was more comforting than Sam M!

Clearly, Jenn was frustrated that Sam M wasn’t there to comfort her and didn’t take her feelings into account. Yet, very quickly she forgave him and wasn’t upset at him at all. They were back to a happy-go-lucky, physical relationship in a matter of moments. She never even explained her frustrations to him. It just seems like Jenn wants so badly for there to be a connection between the two, rather than just physical. Due to the physical connection being so strong, you have to wonder if it’s clouding her judgment.

All of that… and she still jumped off the building anyway. I can’t with her.

I am happy that they were able to have a real conversation during the dinner portion of the date. Also, I couldn’t help but notice that his story/past is pretty similar to Spencer’s. Both of them explained how they wanted to chase after love full-heartedly and that there is nothing in the world you wouldn’t do for someone you love. While that can be such an amazing statement, I am scared of what Sam M would literally do after seeing what we’ve seen. He’s threatened/made fun of other people, nearly forced her to do something she didn’t want to do, and been overly physical with Jenn. What wouldn’t he do? It’s a little worrisome. 

The timing of this group date was exceptional with the Olympics going on right now. I’ve especially loved watching Rugby and I am growing a lot more interested in it. Which meant that I really enjoyed this group date. There’s just something about playing sports/watching sports that creates chemistry and brings the most out of people. Also, the Maori Haka ritual dance is so sick and fires me up. 

Some quick thoughts:

1. John and Jonathan are athletes!

2. Marcus took a shot to his shoulder/collarbone area. I want to know how badly he actually got hurt and wish they told us.

3. Sam N had some really nice tackles. Great form and technique. He’s also being playful and fun but it’s a little much though…

4. I loved how everyone gave it their all! Whether it was the guys playing hard, the professional rugby players teaching them how to play, having jerseys for the guys, etc. It just made it even more for me to watch. Maybe it was just the sport-lover in me that enjoyed it.

Personally, that conversation between Marcus and Jenn was the most meaningful one yet this season. Seeing Marcus be that emotional made me truly feel for him. You can tell he’s been through a lot and doesn’t want to be perceived as “weak”. As a man, even if it’s not much of a thing anymore, there’s a preconceived notion that you’re supposed to be the protector or provider in dating relationships. Jenn letting him that he didn’t have to put that pressure on himself was super reassuring. Not to mention, Jenn being a PA student and checking him out was pretty cute too.

If it wasn’t for that conversation with Marcus, I truly believed that Jonathan would have gotten the rose. His time with Jenn during the cocktail hour was fun, meaningful, and comforting for Jenn. Any walls that Jenn had up were let down with him. She 100% initiated that kiss with him too. I feel like that interaction alone could boost him way up in the rankings.

Now to Sam N… oh brother. If you have been reading my blogs so far, you would have seen me urging him to just be confident in himself and get out of his head! Well, he might have taken that to the extreme. He’s trying to make those special moments with Jenn, which is great! He was confident and having fun doing so. Yet, he also was doing that while also saying that he didn’t care and it didn’t matter what the other guys thought. That’s where he went wrong. 

He was rubbing the guys the wrong way, putting himself as more important than others. In all reality, he was just being disrespectful. Not making room for Marcus after he got hurt, walking in front of them/ not speaking with them, etc. 

Now, if you’ve read my previous Bachelorette blogs you might ask yourself, What’s the difference between Devin earlier this season (who I might have defended a little more) and Sam N? I would respond to that saying, you’re right! They were both rude in their own specific ways towards the other guys. Whether that be intentional or not. Here’s the difference though: 

1. Devin is a loud, confident personality and owns it. Whether he was intentionally being rude to other guys or not, he was true to himself. On the other hand, Sam N changed his whole personality and wasn’t true to himself. 

2. Devin eventually apologized to the guys! Sam N was persistent and the other guys didn’t matter. He was outwardly being rude/disrespectful and didn’t care about what the other guys thought.
   

I was hoping some specific guys didn’t get involved in this drama… simply because it’s just not worth it. However, I did like how they approached the conversation by respectfully calling him out. They sat him down and had a chat with him. It escalated into a little bit more but it felt more civil and obedient than other disputes.

Having said that, Thomas N always has a problem and a bone to pick it seems like lol.

Props to Jenn for saying it straight that it wouldn’t work out between them. She didn’t let him get ahead of himself and cut it off at the right time. Especially before he could “introduce intimacy”… ew. I think even if she hadn’t sent him home then, she would have in the rose ceremony. As if she already had her mind made up on him.

Unlike Sam M, I feel like Devin’s stock has been consistently rising as time has gone on! More and more fans seem to be jumping on his bandwagon. What a roller coaster he has been on so far this season. To be fair, he is growing on me too. Maybe it’s just something about New Zealand but I loved this one-on-one date. I loved the opportunity they were given to listen to the culture of the native people there but also a chance to share their own. 

Devin is a really good speaker. It’s not in a way that’s condescending too. It seems truthful and authentic! Which I think led to them being able to open up in their conversations about their parents, family, religion, culture, values, etc. They seriously talked about a lot of really important topics when it comes to dating/marriage. I think it’s even fair to say that their relationship is a lot more developed and more mature than others. It’s also just nice to see Jenn open up and share more too. 

One thing about Devin… he walks funny. Not in a bad way, it’s just funny-looking. Check it out and let me know if I am crazy.

The way that Jenn’s ex, Matt, entered was… bizarre. For example, the impromptu Jesse Palmer cameo, how they edited this portion, and allowing Matt to handle it however he liked was so peculiar to me. Obviously, I haven’t watched Bachelor/ette for a long time, has an ex ever entered the show and joined the contestants? I know other exes have made appearances before, but have any competed to win on it? Someone will have to let me know!

After his interaction with Jenn, I almost feel bad for the guy! From what we know so far, it seems like they were reconnecting as friends (after dating 3 years prior) and spending time with each other. Then Jenn kind of left him in the dust to do this show. It’s not like this was years before the show, it was a few months. I can’t help but feel like Jenn was maybe leading this guy on possibly. 

Jenn wasn’t even upset/mad to see him. Instead, she laughed it off. I wish Jenn would have taken that moment to define the relationship. Yes, he flew out there on his own money and time. Is it worth leading him on and breaking his heart again? I am looking for Jenn to take charge and I think she will. My prediction is that she sends him home in the next episode. It’s just a tough look for Jenn in my opinion.

Overall, I have mixed emotions on this episode. Especially regarding Jenn. I loved how she opened up so much! Sharing about her family, her past relationships, how she grew up, etc. It was the most vulnerable we have seen her and it was a breath of fresh air. Then on the other end, I was also annoyed at Jenn haha! She so quickly forgave Sam M after how rude he was and the whole situation with the ex entering the mix was handled was so strange.

My top 3 guys remain as Marcus, Spencer, and Jonathan. Grant remains an honorable mention. Yet, I am also going to throw Devin now in the honorable mentions too. He’s been doing a lot of things right recently and I am starting to like Jenn and him together more. We’ll see if that list changes next week, talk to you then!